It was a cool day at 50℉, with clear blue skies. Kelly and I stood high on the outside dome of the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. Steve Largent (former American Hall of Famer for American Football), Senator in the US House of Representatives, was ahead of us. He turned and told us, “Richard and Kelly, this is quite the tour we’re giving you. Not many people get to stand here; only members of the house and a select few can bring people to this spot.” We were now overlooking an unobstructed view over the city of Washington, D.C.; Steve noted that the Height Act maintained a maximum building height of 13 stories. In the distance, the White House stood resolute. It felt like a very patriotic moment, even though I was a Kiwi visiting from New Zealand. We were there for a Leadership conference that included dignitaries and World Leaders from around the globe. 

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Dear Friend and the Future of Our Heritage, this book contains stories, life experiences, thoughts, and reflections I’ve learned and would love to share with you. 

I’m addressing you as ‘Friend,’ even though I probably don't know you. As a good friend once shared with me, “I approach all people whom I haven’t yet met as if they’re my ‘friend’ already. It completely alters our interactions; it changes how I communicate and what we talk about – and, therefore, the conversation's outcome. Your approach to the meet – with a caring demeanour and the honest intention of being a friend – means that the other person responds in kind. They pick up on your demeanour and mirror your open friendliness almost instantly.” I write these pages with the same intent of friendship. A famous saying we refer to often, goes like this:

 

“People treat people the way they think they are.” 

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People tend to respond to others based on the other people’s self-concept. So, if you behave confidently, it’s likely that others will then respond to you with confidence. Other people's perception of you is their ‘reality’ of you. Their experience of you then shapes ‘who’ they think you are. 

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I’ve dedicated my life to providing wisdom and counsel in any situation with the driving motivation being my desire to encourage and care for others. Fortunately, my counsel and expertise in business have enabled us to make a living from Business Skills Training, amongst many other activities supporting companies of all types and sizes. More about this later. 

I hope you find this book valuable, enlightening, and encouraging. I’m privileged to have had several mentors, friends, and family who have helped provide bearing, guidance, coaching, and friendship through various highs and lows, and – probably even more so – regular everyday life. They’ve helped me to continue to grow and learn, and they always ensure my compass is set in the right direction for me. 

Life’s awesome! It’s a gift, and one we’ve been blessed with – so use it, love it, and live it!

 

This moment in history, right now, will never happen again. You have the power to decide how to live every moment, every day. 

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It’s your decision how you respond to every circumstance, every situation, and every experience. And each decision you make will help shape who you become, where you end up, and what you do. 

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As you read through the chapters of this book, you’ll see the part we play in other people's lives, both the people we meet for only a moment and those interactions that endure over our lifetime. In a recent training session with the key leadership team of a large multinational company, our message was focused on the following: The better you know yourself – the reasons behind your motivation and your resistance – the better you can be at what you do. Knowing why you do the things you do and why you avoid doing other things is an area of understanding that’s helpful in business but also in all of life.

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Through this book, I hope you become more aware of who you are and discover more about the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. From this deeper awareness, you can then learn how to help yourself grow and develop your behaviours and skills to become more in control of your outcomes. Through this understanding, you’re also more likely to live a life of emotional freedom, where you’re not controlled by your circumstances, but instead guided by your choices and consideration. 

 

Our three children (Baylin, Isaac, and PJ) have often heard us say, “You can’t control other people's behaviour; you can only control your own”. And to get control of your behaviour, you first need to recognise what drives it.

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It’s what we think in any situation that drives and determines our behaviour and, ultimately, our outcomes. 

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This one piece of knowledge has a significant influence on all our lives. I’ll write more about this in the chapters ahead, where I’ll share some situations and experiences that are more personal to me. 

The headings I’ve created capture the beliefs that have been instrumental as I continually measure myself and re-centre my thinking. Are they principals? Maybe. Are they values? Probably. But I’ve found that if you want life to be fulfilling, it helps to have a measure guiding and shaping what you want. These areas have been my measure..............